Thursday, July 12, 2012

Open My Eyes

Have you ever had one of those moments when your own sinfulness reared its ugly head, and for a brief instant you saw things clearly - the way God does - the total depravity of the human condition; and of MY condition without the grace of God?

Maybe a moment when the ugliness of pride showed its true colors in you...
Or a moment when a lack of compassion was all that was reflected...
Maybe the heat of judgement poured out on someone you love...
Or angry words spewed before you had the wisdom to silence your mouth...

That happened to me this week.

Sneak Peak:  I was walking into the office the other day at the same time that a woman got out of her car and headed into the building. I didn't recognize her. She looked a little haggard. I assumed that maybe she was a part of the cleaning crew that works at the church.  I didn't say hello to her. I barely even looked at her. I walked inside without even smiling. Wow. Who was that person?  Not her, but ME!!??  Why so impersonal and cold?  Was I really so busy that I couldn't be kind, or even polite?

Her Story:  Kristy and Mark had conversations with this woman and discovered that she was in need of help.  She came to Houston from Michigan to bury her ex-husband, the father of her 10 year old son, who had been found in Buffalo Bayou.  She didn't have enough money to get to the bus station to catch her bus home. She just needed a little help; she was willing to work for the day. I know we are all cynical about these types of stories and requests, but her need seemed genuine.  Mark bought a tank of gas so her friend could drive her to the bus station.

Full Disclosure:  Then Mark called me and said, "Let's go to Wallmart and buy them a gift card so they can have food to eat on the bus. It's a two day trip."  And I replied, "You go ahead. I don't want to ride in the car with them, they don't smell good."

Immediately I am convicted and ashamed. Appalled at my lack of love. Did I just say that?  Did I really have that thought?  Seriously? That's going to be the determining factor in whether I demonstrate Christ's love to someone or not?  I am sickened by my sin.

Redemption:  As it turned out, God gave me the opportunity to go with Mark to Wallmart to purchase the gift card anyway. Thank you, God, that in this moment when all I had to offer you was the stench of selfishness that you didn't respond in kind.  I am humbled by your mercy and grateful for your patience. Thank you for opening my eyes today.  Please continue your work of transformation in my life!  I obviously desperately need you...


  1. Laura,
    I love your story! It's so true, it doesn't take much to make another person feel like they are important ....a simple smile, a "hello" go such a long way. Thank you so much for sharing!

  2. Yes, what joy for those whose reco Prd the LORD has cleared of guilt, whose lives are lived in complete honesty!
    Psalms 32:2

  3. You are awesome. It took a lot of courage to put your actions down in writing for the world to see. I don't know of anyone that has not reacted as you did at one time or another. By stepping up and sharing with us, maybe the next time we are put in a similar situation, we will act with the compassion and love that you eventually showed. We are all a work in progress. All we can do is pray that God will continue to work through us to help others and make us better people.